Achieving an amicable separation
Popular culture has influenced how we perceive the legal process surrounding separation and divorce. From the acrimony in the ‘70s film Kramer vs Kramer, to contemporary shows such as The Good Wife, the message is often that separation comes with hate, one-upmanship and pain.
It’s hardly surprising then that many couples are filled with dread and anxiety at the prospect of going through a divorce.
But there is an alternative, the Collaborative Process, which involves problem solving and working together for the good of the entire family.
Gillian Stuart of Aspiring Law and Selina-Jane Trigg of Family Law Results are two lawyers specially trained in the Collaborative Process, who are themselves collaborating and offering this rational and calm approach, as a way of circumventing the Family Court.
“Our approach is to make the entire process as smooth as possible. We want to avoid unnecessary delays and costs or any sense of disempowerment for either party. Inflamed relations can all too often result in lengthy Family Court and litigation-based negotiations between parties,” says Gillian.
Selina-Jane says the Collaborative Process aims to allow a separating couple to resolve issues in a respectful, calm way. “This takes into account a greater understanding of the psychological effects of separation and what this means when it comes to making important decisions,” she says.
It’s also a case of “do as I do, not just as I say” with Gillian and Selina-Jane acting respectfully and cooperatively, in the same way that they ask of their clients.
The two women sometimes bring in other professionals who are also trained in the Collaborative Process such as financial or mental health professionals or divorce coaches who can contribute added depth of expertise.
The work of reaching resolution is done through a series of meetings and the clients are often involved in the drafting of their agreement alongside their Collaborative lawyers.
“A lot of clients are surprised at the first meeting by how informal and respectful things are – nothing like what they have seen on episodes of Suits. Separation can be a win-win. Our role is to help create solutions that meet the needs of all involved,” says Gillian.
It’s not all sunshine though. Each party’s lawyer is there to provide sound legal advice so that their clients can make fully informed decisions, and to advocate for what is important to them.
“I have had Collaborative Process cases where the couple could not come up to the first meeting in the same elevator but have left the process, not only in the same elevator, but going for a coffee afterwards,” says Selina.
If this sounds like the kind of outcome you would like, contact:
Gillian Stuart at Aspiring Law
021 929 590, 03 443 0915,
or email gillian.stuart@aspiringlaw.co.nz
or Selina-Jane Trigg at Family Law Results 03 928 1858, 021 345 160
or email lawyers@familylawresults.co.nz.
